A 6 Month Recovery Study? - A Therapy Session

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved." ~Helen Keller

Helen Keller, wow, what an incredible and inspirational human being and what an inspirational life story. I think about her life and what she overcame and did in life despite her disability and it inspires me to remain strong and steadfast in my journey and go after everything I want. But even that kind of inspiration can be tough to hold onto everyday. There are days where I have a strong hold on it like my life depended on it and then there are days where the darkness captures and surrounds me in such a way that I am unable to stop it and that inspiration slips through my fingertips.

I recently had a disappointing doctor appointment and then explained that disappointment in a recent blog post, "6 Months Explained." Well, I had a really great therapy session today that didn't necessarily solve my 6 month devastation, but it gave me some things to think about, not to mention a book that came home with me. So, you're probably thinking, "get on with it!" so here's what we talked about:

I first talked about what happened in my last surgeries because this was the first time she's seen me since I left for Portland to have the surgeries. And then I talked about my doctor appointment and the 6 month break he is wanting to do and the reasons he gave for it. She agreed on what I had to say with what I can and can't do in those 6 months that he is wanting me to do because of some, complications, if you will. So she talked with me about the first reason, getting off all pain medication. She first brought up Dr. Rice, who is pretty much the top guy in the region for addiction and being able to prescribe special medication for addicts (whether they became addicts for the "feel good" of opiates or people like me, who had no choice because it came about through injury and pain) to help them wean and get off the opiate(s) without going through the hell of withdrawals. So we talked about seeing him (he already is my doctor for my medications) for possibly getting on this medication to help get me off all my pain meds easier. In the meantime, in her words, "You are sitting on a goldmine!" What she's talking about is I have the opportunity to look at getting of all my pain medication as a sort of Psychology study not only on my own opiate addiction and the process of getting off the pain meds but also going to the Opiate Addiction meetings and observing other people's addictions to opiates and how they are dealing with their addiction and trying to recover. She said if there's one thing in the field of Psychology/Psychiatry, in the world even, that's never going to change or go away, it's addiction. And I have the opportunity to capitalize on that in these 6 months. This could be a very interesting way to look at and go through my recovery of opiate addiction.

She also talked about if I'm still thinking about an acting career, why would I want to waitress or bar tend on the side while I was trying to make my career when I have this Psychology degree? Why not do something with Psychology alongside an acting career? In other words, instead of thinking of it as an "either/or" situation, do them together. And by do them together, she doesn't mean incorporate them, but do something with my psychology degree and work in that field (possibly in the area of addiction if I find it interesting if I do what she suggested above) alongside my attempt at an acting career instead of waitressing or bartending. Well, makes sense to me. But this suggestion is all in the case that I do take off and try again to have an acting/performing career.

So that gave me some good and interesting things to think about, particularly about how to handle getting off my pain medications. Six months is still a very long time for me to wait to continue on with the reconstruction work and it's still so very hard for me because it prolongs the time for when I can start my life and I mean really start my life by executing what game plan I come up with, take care of myself and live independently again. There are just so many complications that are a private matter that still make this break devastating. I am truly going through trials and sufferings far beyond what I share with you. But I can only hope that through the trial and suffering, my soul will be strengthened, my ambition inspired, and the success I search for achieved as so poetically said by the great, Helen Keller.