"A great beginning is sometimes at the point of what you thought would be the end of everything." ~Dodinsky
A very dear friend of mine shared this with me today and I found it very insightful. How many personal stories or stories in movies have you heard were just as that quote. Where just when you thought it was the end of everything, a great beginning happened instead. It reminds me of my own story.
There was a point in my life, my injury, where I thought it would be the end of everything. The end of a career I wanted and dreamed for so badly, the end of my body as I once knew it, the end of, well, everything. And it has been the end of some things, like my body. My body is now mangled in scars on the inside and marred with scars on the outside. My range of motion is disabled. My face is not the face I once owned. And it could be the end of that career I dreamed so hard for but that is something that is of the unknown right now.
Even though I am struggling with what I think is the end of everything in my life with my injury, there are some things that have blossomed into a beautiful new beginning like new and beautiful friendships that have come about since my injury. There is a different view of life I have now that is a very precious one. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life now, there's so much to figure out and so much that is yet unknown as I said, like my reconstruction.
Things have been very hard. I've gone through 32 surgeries so far, thousands of doctor appointments and probably added up all together, a year's worth of time spent in the hospital. As I spoke of before, my range of motion is quite limited and they keep working on it but I have to go through another surgery everytime. I fight everyday to keep the range of motion I may have gained in a recent surgery but I have to fight to keep it and possibly increase it. I can never just have a contracture release surgery and be done with it, I have to go through intense physical therapy that can truly hurt to keep the range of motion they gave me.
But I'd like to believe that my injury was not the end of everything but rather a beautiful beginning to which there are endless possibilities for me. But I'm still looking for what is being held for me in what is this beautiful beginning rather than looking at it as the end of everything as I have for so long.
2 comments:
My friend, it is a new beginning. Not the easiest starting point to be sure, but you are doing everything you need to do to find your path and I'm so proud of you for that! When things get frustrating or difficult you have lots of people who love you to walk with you in this journey of yours. Learning to lean on your circle of support has been a part of that journey and I'm so happy that you are also beginning to celebrate victories too! Even small victories are worth celebration and I have no doubt that there are very large victories in store for you. Thank you for allowing me along for the ride because I wouldn't miss it for anything. It is truly an honor to call you my friend.
What amazing perspective you have! I agree with you that this is a beautiful beginning and that your life has endless possibilities. I'm learning to trust and believe, and pray that you are, too.
Sending love & healing thoughts your way!
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