Control of the Authorship of My Own Destiny

"You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny.  The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand."  ~Irene C. Kassorla

I don't feel like I have any kind of authorship of my own destiny.  I feel like that left me when the accident happened, or maybe even a short while before that.  It feels as though my destiny is in the hands of other people like my acting manager, casting directors, my surgeon, even my insurance.  It doesn't feel like I have any control at all and that's a horrible feeling for we should all have control of the authorship of our own destiny's.

For me I feel like my career is hanging in the balance of many people's hands.  On one hand there is my surgeon's hands which deal with my reconstruction...literally.  He is dealing with the battle to reconstruct me in the best way he can.  Then there's the issue of my acting manager who has to deal with trying to find ways to get me back into the acting world with my scars, if that's even possible.  And then on top of that, I have to deal with my insurance: what it allows me to do with regards to surgeries, hospital stays, prescriptions, and medical supplies.  So far my insurance has not given me any problems....yet.  So, I'm grateful for that.  But where do I come in with control of the authorship of my own destiny?  I feel like it's all out of my hands right now.  And that frightens me terribly.

However, the pen that writes my life story is in my own hand and for that I am also grateful.  I am able to tell you first hand what I am feeling, what I am going through in mind, body and spirit.  Maybe one day I will write my story into a book.