well I went OUT last night and it was really good for me, especially during this stressful time right before surgery. I went out to dinner and a movie with a girlfriend that works with my dad actually. We went to chinese, had great conversation and some laughs and then went to go see The Other Guys at the movie theater where we had some more great laughs. it was really a great movie. But most of all, it made me laugh which was really good for my soul right now. To just not worry about anything for 3 hours. It was really great.
But here I am, the very next day and my stomach is all upset filled with nervousness, stress, anxiety and excitement. I've gone through 22 surgeries and I still get these feelings everytime! See, I'm all used to all the prep stuff but it's when the nurses and anesthiologist comes into my room to take me away to the operating room that my tummy turns upside down. Of course, the anesthiologist gives me some nice drugs to calm me down before we head out and that helps a lot. But then suddenly it's like all those calming drugs he gives me beforehand like disappear cause when they lay me down on the operating table and put th eoxygen mask over my face that I really start to get nervous and my heart races. And then the infamous words..."Now some happy juice Sarah and we'll see you in a few hours." oh God, when am i gonna....and i'm gone before I can even finish my sentence which is intended to be "when am i gonna fall asleep?" But I'm out like a light before I can hardly get the sentence out in my head. I absolutely HATE the anticipation of falling asleep. Not knowing exactly when you fall asleep gives me the great anxiety. Oh and then waking up in such pain! AND usually finding out that there was some kind of complication or something or other. For once, I just want to go to the operating room with a calm tummy and heart and just let myself fall asleep and wake up with minimal pain and to hear these words, "the surgery was an absolute success Sarah dear."
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