Happy Valentine's Day

"Love is the true means by which the world is enjoyed: our love to others, and others' love to us." ~ Thomas Trahern

Well, Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I wish I had someone special for days like this. But mostly I just wish I had someone special for everyday. But I don't. And I'm afraid I never will. I don't know if the reconstructive doctors will ever be able to really fix my face enough as they say they will be able to in order for someone to look past the disfigurement in my face. Oh how I truly envy those that have someone special in their lives whether it's in the form of a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. It kills me inside. I mean I'm happy for them and I would never want that taken away from them, but I am so lonely for someone.

I did get a surprise today from someone I call my "luvah." But I do not call him my "lover" because he cannot be my lover. He is one of my dearest friends and also gay. So we call each other "luvah's." Anyway, he is always so wonderful to me. He always comes and visits me in the hospital, we often have dinner when I am in Portland and he sent me flowers today for Valentine's Day as well as for my belated birthday. So very sweet. So thank you, my luvah. You are near and dear to my heart.

So how does someone like myself get through a day like this? Especially during the days of social networking, like Facebook where people are expressing their love all over the place online where I can see it. I'm tired of being alone but I'm afraid being alone is going to be my relationship status for a long time.

But I don't want this to be depressing for all you love birds out there. Enjoy your day, enjoy your loved one and your families. Treasure them but do not use Valentine's Day as the only day to express your love. You shouldn't need a holiday to do that. It should be expressed everyday because we need to know that we are appreciated and loved. I know I'm not very good at expressing my love and gratitude towards my parents everyday because of my anger issues with the accident. That is something I need to work on.

But despite that you should express your appreciation and love everyday, it's certainly OK to let it go overboard today and have fun. Maybe that's the point of Valentine's Day. Not to just express love but to have fun with expressing that love. May all of you have a wonderful, loving and fun Valentine's Day.

"There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread." ~Mother Teresa