Hard Days

There are some days in the month I seem to go through (and I'm not talking about PMS) where it seems impossible to get through the day.  Even to get through an hour of that day it's excruciating.  This past weekend and so far starting this week it is those days.  So I was listening to Coldplay's recent record on vinyl that was bought for me off my wishlist and I like to play it because it reminds me of the concert my mother and I went to.  It reminds me of a happy time in my miserable life.  The second song on the record is "Paradise" and it always makes me think of how I feel everyday listening to the lyrics.  It talks about a girl and how she expected the world to be but it flew away from her reach and for whatever reason it does not say but in my case, my world flew away from my reach March 17th, 2008.  I feel like I have nothing for a future, nothing to look forward to.  And as in the song, the only place I can run away to from everything is in my sleep and dream dreams of paradise and life gone right.  The lyrics, "Life goes on, it gets so heavy, the wheel breaks the butterfly, every tear a waterfall," are so much of my life everyday.  Life feels so heavy on my shoulders and I feel like when I cry, I cry waterfalls of tears because I cry so deeply and so hard.  I cry for what I lost and I cry for what may never be.

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly

And dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
She'd dream of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh

La-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say, "oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise"

This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh