Anxiety Over a Repeat of Last Surgery

I'm having a lot of anxiety concerning these surgeries coming up because I don't want a repeat of what happened in my last surgeries. They have ALWAYS had a problem intubating me but last time was a major complication when they thought they could make a small fix and it turned out to be a real major complication. And I'm having a lot of anxiety that I'm going to wake up to another complication and the rest of my operations will have been canceled due to it and I'll be back in the hospital due to intubation and neck complications.

My chest area and neck were burned the worst so the contractions in my neck always make intubation a difficult thing. I'm always so scared when they put the air over my nose and mouth and tell me to "take nice deep breaths" cause I hate not knowing the moment when I fall asleep and even more not knowing if I'm going to wake up to a complication. I'm so scared. I try to be strong but it is really hard some days. Some days I just want to give up, but I know I can't. I can't for my family and for my friends. But deep down, my soul is sobbing and breaking down.