Comfortably Numb

"THERE ARE TIMES IN LIFE WHEN ONE JUST BECOMES INSENSITIVE TO ALL ADVERSITY IN LIFE.  THIS IS DEDICATED TO ALL WHO AT ONE POINT IN THEIR LIVES HAVE SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION, GRIEF, ABUSE, HURT IN ANY WAY, BUT REMEMBER IS UP TO YOU TO SEEK THE LIGHT EVEN WHEN DARKNESS SEEM SO COMFORTABLE"


Boy, do those words hit me. Hard. It happens to me from time to time and all too often to be truthful. Like the words say, there are times in life when I just become insensitive to all adversity in life and the darkness gets comfortable. I just become, comfortably numb (Pink Floyd). There are those times that I've written about where I just cry and cry and I find it amazing as the tears fall off my chin and onto the pillow or into my hands or onto my shirt, that I marvel at how many tears I can cry. But then, after that much crying, after awhile, I can't cry anymore and I'm just insensitive to everything. And I don't mean I'm insensitive to things like my friends or my family. I'm always sensitive to them, to anything that's going on with them, to any problem that's upset them. What I'm insensitive to is myself, my situation, my life, my accident. It's like I don't care anymore about any of it. I just go through the motions of the day without emotion, and there really aren't much of any motions to my day. Even if I think about those things I mentioned earlier, no tears come, no anger, no sadness, no frustration, just the feeling of being numb and the comfortableness of the darkness that has put it's blanket around my shoulders. It's like no one's home inside my soul. Like Pink Floyd said, "hello, is anybody in there."

The last part where it says, "But remember it is up to you to seek the light even when the darkness seems so comfortable." For anyone who knows what's it like, REALLY like to be truly depressed or hurt or in grief, that darkness that surrounds us becomes comfortable, and you know what I mean, you know that feeling. It fills our homes and it most horribly fills our hearts and souls and our minds and it's so much harder to get back up on your feet, to seek the light, than to just stay where you are in that darkness of depression or hurt or grief. Darkness is powerful. I would even go out on a limb to say it's more powerful than the light, whether you take that in happiness vs. depression or good vs. evil or God vs. Satan. It's so much easier to just succumb to that darker side. It truly is. It is the lighter side that takes courage, strength and bravery. But that is not to say that people who have been sucked into the black hole, the Bermuda triangle of the dark side due to depression are not courageous, powerful, or brave. They just need help. They're going to have to do the most work and that's the hardest work, but they need help along the way. They are drowning in the darkness of depression and they need a buoy thrown out to them to keep them afloat or someone brave and courageous enough to jump in after them and be there with them and help them out. But in the end, it is me who has to get back up on my feet and find that light, shrug off that blanket the darkness has comfortably snuggled me up in. I have the hardest work to do. But it's always helpful and a wonderful warm and loving feeling to have someone(s) to reach their hand(s) out to us and grab hold with a strong grip that says, "I won't let go of you and you'll make it, my friend. We'll do this together."