Angels Without God?

I've been thinking about something my therapist said to me for the entire weekend since I saw her last Friday.  We had a pretty rough session but at the end of it she said something that really touched my soul.  She said "I think you have a lot of angels on your side.  And I'm one of them."  Wow, what a thing to say to someone going through something like what I'm going through and I mean that in the best way.  It was a powerful and moving statement.  She just said it so softly and gently yet with conviction like she really believed it and after she said it, she just looked at me and smiled a heartwarming, beautiful smile and right then, she did look like an angel.

So it's had me thinking all weekend through to today.  You all know the problems that I'm having with my faith and my belief in God or a higher power, if you prefer, since my accident.  I just don't understand it and I'm so angry about it all.  And 3.5 years later, I'm still having troubles with my faith and beliefs and I'm still angry.  But when my therapist said what she said on Friday and then looked the way she looked it made me wonder, can angels exist without a God?  So, I did a little research.

The word "angel" comes from the Greek word, "Angelos" which means "messenger."  In many religions, an angel can be one who acts as a messenger of God.   In the Bible it is generally seen that the will of God is usually carried out by angels.  It is also said that angels have a kind of intimate relationship with God as His special adopted children.  In one article it says, "Angels are the essence of love and joy and stem from the Heart of God." 

So basically, none of the research really answered my question.  All the articles I read always include God and they all say angels stem from God, that they are His messengers and carry out His will.  However, I did come across a discussion forum where someone asked the very question I am now and several people gave her the typical answer that I just did here.  However, one person talked about speaking of or thinking of God in a way of a "Divine Spirit" that is a part of all of us and the Universe.  And therefore angels are messengers of a part of that "Divine Spirit" so that when we ask for help from the angels, we "tap into that which we are also a part of - the Whole Oneness."  I love that.  I find that a very interesting answer and view.  But, it still connects angels to a higher power.  That angels cannot exist without it. 

I'd like to believe in God and I may still.  I'm just struggling with it right now because of the accident.  But I'd really like to believe in angels because they seem so pure and beautiful and there to protect you, save you from any harm.  I always say that God wasn't there when my accident happened.  My mother always tells me that He is what kept me alive by continuing to breathe life into me.  But what if it were angels that kept me alive, that continued to breathe that life into me?  Or what if there was nothing?  What if we are all alone and I was the only one who kept me alive?  And what if it were the doctors who continued the fight on the operating table who kept me alive?  What if there was no kind of spirit or higher power?  Even though I'm on the fence with God and my faith, I do still find that idea a little scary.  To be all alone here?  To simply not exist anymore after we die?  It's hard to know what to believe and even harder when you've gone through something like I have or what many others in this world who have suffered some kind of terrible trauma to know what to believe. 

But the way that my therapist looked at me, it was like looking at an angel and I want to believe that she is right, and that she is one of those angels on my side.  I think if that's true, I have some very wonderfully dear friends of mine that I would consider some of my angels and then, of course, my family.  I do know I believe in the Universe, I always have.  I've always been a kind of "hippie spiritual" being :)  I'm scared to not believe but I don't know yet how to believe again.