A Small But Important Setback

I awoke this morning to dreadful pain in my front left axilla and I knew before looking what had happened - a skin tear from stretching last night.

I have several different stretches I do everyday, most I can do by myself but there's one in particular that I have to have help with and it can be dangerous in stretching too hard and causing a tear, which is precisely what happened.  It's a stretch where I put my hands up behind my head and my mother or father then stand behind me, grab hold of my elbows and pull them back until I feel the stretch enough to say "stop."  This stretches out my axillas.  I do it around 4-5 times for 45 seconds each.  On one of the pulls I felt a quick, sharp pain in the left axilla but I stupidly thought nothing of it and continued to let my father stretch it.  Then I didn't check it afterwards cause it didn't really hurt anymore.  Well, it sure hurt this morning and it's a nice sized tear in my newly grafted left axilla.  DAMMIT!!  That area, if it tears, is the hardest to heal because it's constantly in motion and it causes a lot of pain.  GOD DAMMIT!!  THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!!  You know what this means now?  I can't stretch that axilla for fear of tearing it even worse so now it has to rest and if it rests contractures set in.  I mean, contractures set in no matter if I'm stretching every day so you can imagine how bad and how strong those contractures will form if I'm not stretching.  I don't want to lose ground.

I HATE MY BODY!!!  I just wish I healed like a normal, healthy human being.  Instead I have a surgeon who looks at me and says simply, "you're amazing," and he's not talking about me, he's saying I'm amazing at forming contractures.  They've even coined a phrase at the wound care clinic at the burn center so when someone is forming a bad contracture(s) they say, "You're doing a 'Sarah'."  I mean, I've been through hell and back, endured a lot of pain and suffering, is it so much to ask that I can at least HEAL nicely without forming contractures so bad?  "Oh no,  (this is my body talking now) I can't give SB that.  She's gotta endure all the pain and suffering I can pile on her."  Thanks.  I'll never be able to do a cartwheel on the summer grass again.