Something's Gotta Give

Things have been rough going lately.  I'm battling terrible anemia so I'm just so exhausted all the time, weak and drained of energy.  It takes a whole day for me to really wake up.  I called my doctor to see what he had to say about it and he wants me to try and get some more exercise in.  That response just frustrated me to no end.  I mean, yes, I agree, I need more exercise and it would probably help revive my body and energize me.  It's just tough to hear because I'm so weak and drained of energy and tired that it's nearly impossible to wake up and get the energy to get on the treadmill or go out for a walk!  It's a catch-22.  And then there's the pain I'm dealing with with my shoulder so that makes getting up for some exercise even harder to face.  Which brings me to the frustration with my shoulder issue.  I'm still in pain and I still can't lift my arm any better.  No progress.

I finally got my physical therapy approved with my insurance so I got a call week before last to get in for my evaluation.  So last week I went in for my eval and they didn't really have any answers for me either other than possible impingement in that area where there's edema in the humeral head of my right shoulder.  But she looked at what I could do, what I couldn't, what caused pain and what didn't.  Gave me some exercises to start with at home and wants to see me twice a week.  I had my first actual therapy session this last Tuesday and she did some ultrasound pulse therapy on my shoulder and then some massage work on the back of my shoulder around my scapula and up around my shoulder.  Then we worked on some new exercises for me to work on at home again and she wanted to try Kinesio tape on my shoulder.  You know that funky tape that so many of the Olympians were wearing at the summer games last year?  Yeah, that stuff.  It's supposed to help with pain and inflammation and some other good stuff so she put some on my shoulder and she's got me wearing it for a few days at a time.

So with all my health issues and emotional struggles I'm highly frustrated and feel like I'm walking on the edge of a complete breakdown.  I'm so tired of being so tired all the time; of not being able to get out of bed and wake up like a normal person.  I'm so tired of having a bum arm that is basically useless and have no answers as to what's going on with it or how long it'll take to rehabilitate.  I'm tired of my weight, though I have recently taken a serious step in my weight loss attempt so that's positive and I'm optimistic it's going to work.  But in the meantime, I'm sick of my body.  I've got a lot of frustration and stress going on and I feel like I'm gonna blow a gasket if something doesn't give soon.