Adapting

"Like Darwin's finches, we are slowly adapting to our environment.  And when one does that, my God, the riches that are available."

If you've seen the movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, then you should recognize this quote.  I think about this statement a lot and how it applies to me.  I may not be in another country to adapt to like the characters in the movie, but, I am having to learn to adapt to a new life since my accident.  It's kind of a backwards thing when you think about my kind of adaptation vs my adaptation were I an amputee.  It seems that amputees adapt faster to their new way of living than those of us who are not amputees.  Perhaps it's because they are forced to.  They are forced to learn to do things with one arm or one leg or they'll never get it done.  Whereas I am lucky to have full function of my limbs and fingers, I tend to be a tad more lazy in getting things done because I know I can get them done, it'll just take me longer.  Yes, it'll take an amputee longer as well but, if they don't learn to do something in a new way than how they used to do it with the full function of their limbs, it simply won't get done.  Such as learning to put on a sock with only one arm.  They'll always be dependent on someone to put their socks on unless they learn to adapt and figure out a way to do it with the use of only one arm.  And the desire to be independent again is a strong motivator to adapt.

I have full use of all my limbs but my range of motion is pretty terrible so I have had to adapt to new ways of doing things as well.  But, I wasn't gently put in this situation.  I was dropped into it, hard on my ass, as was my family, and that is where the force to adapt to your new environment, or new way of living comes from.  And when you're dropped into it, like every person is who has been in a traumatic accident, you have two choices: you can either adapt, or fight it and fight it and fight it.  And trust me, if you try to fight it, you'll never win.  So, like Darwin's finches, you adapt.  Some faster than others, some more efficient, but you will adapt.

Still, five years later, I'm still learning to adapt.  I've done a lot of adapting in these five years but there are still things I have yet to figure out.  Sometimes there's a new surgery that deems me unable to do something I had just learned to do, just adapted to, and I'm back to square one again.  But, I once again, learn to adapt because I am forever learning to adapt.  I have adapted to putting my clothes on differently, though I still need help.  Such an example is how I put on a sweater or a coat.  Like pretty much everyone, before my accident, I used to take a hold of it and sort of swing it around my back and ease my arms into it.  Well, I can't do it that way anymore.  My arms don't have that kind of range of motion anymore.  So, I've had to adapt to putting it on a different way and adapt to having the patience needed because it takes a bit longer to get on and is more frustrating than just swinging it around like everyone else can.  Something as simple as clipping my toenails is another example.  Like everyone, I used to just lean over my knee and clip them.  I had the flexibility in my arms and the stretch in my skin to reach my toenails.  But now, with my limited range of motion and the tightness of the grafted skin that has no give or stretch, I have had to adapt to sort of bending down on the inside of my knee to reach my toenails.  And many times I still can't do that so I have to resort to asking for help.  Learning to ask for help is an adaptation as well.  For me, at least.  I have always had a hard time asking for help but I have had to learn and adapt to asking for help since my accident and try not to feel bad about it.  I say, "try," because I still sometimes feel bad.


But, once you have opened yourself up to adapting to a new way of living after a traumatic accident, what riches you'll reap!  You'll find your independence again (I haven't yet but I heard you will).  You'll find your life again!  You will find happiness in this slog of shit that happened to you.