Enlightening Therapy Session With A Double Amputee

I had a different kind of therapy session today. My therapist had a man who had had both arms amputated when he was just a young fellow in high school come in and talk with me. She did this because this man is one of the most positive people she knows despite what happened to him. So she thought it would be good for me to meet him and hear his story, have him hear mine, and hear how he struggled and got through it and how he is still so positive about life.

He wears a hook prosthetic on his left arm because that's how he likes it. He has a hand prosthetic but in his words, "it doesn't help shit," as much as the hook does. He doesn't wear any prosthetic on his other arm because he has problems with that stump.

Anyway, he told me his story, which was heartbreaking, and I told him mine, which was really hard to get through. I haven't really gone through the whole story about what happened in a long time so it was hard going back there. And then we just talked about things that we struggled with and things that were hard and he had some very good things to say that made me think and reflect. My therapist was right, he was incredibly positive about life despite his accident and what it took away from him. I don't know how he does it. But then again, he is 17 years from his accident so he's had a lot more time than me. However, I still give him enormous credit and respect for his positivity despite the struggles he went through and the life changing accident he had. He said many things that I took to heart but one thing that stood out to me was when he said that we know about life, we who have been through such life changing accidents and the struggles that have come from them truly know about life. And he's right. I mean, I think I knew quite a bit more about life when I moved to NYC because I was REALLY on my own being 3,000 miles away from home and having to learn a whole different way to live with a city that houses nearly 9 million people, a grand and elaborate subway system that was so easy to get lost in when I first moved (however I knew it like the back of my hand real quick), high rent no matter where you lived, cabs, living a completely different lifestyle being a bartender at night and actress by day, going to audition after audition, learning about rejection, etc. So I think I had some idea from my experience with NYC. But I really learned about life when I had my accident and the struggles and experiences I have gone through since. We know more about what life is truly about, how hard it can be and how precious it really is because we have been through our accidents where most people haven't a clue. I just so wish that I could have gone on living and learning about life in NYC instead of having to learn what life is about with an accident like I had, an accident that burned my flesh off so badly that I almost loss my life.

He is an incredible man. I wish I had half the strength he does. I don't know what kind of strength I have anymore. Somehow I had the strength and the will to live when the accident happened and now it feels like I'm losing that strength and that will. This has been a very hard fight and it's not over yet. And the worst thing to face up to is that this fight will never be over.