Saturday, September 17, 2011

Preparation For The Day My Chance Will Come

"I will prepare and some day my chance will come."  ~Abraham Lincoln

As you can tell, I'm a big quote enthusiast (I research them, seek them out and retain them in my brain like I retain movie quotes/information.  I am also a big presidential history buff and Abraham Lincoln is one of my favorites.) and I've always liked this one.  A lot of people may say that it has a kind of "waiting" innuendo and thus puts an emphasis on that.  That it doesn't tell us most of getting what we want in life includes hard work and going after what we want, not waiting for it to come to us.  But I don't think that's necessarily what this quote is saying.  I think you need to look at the word, "prepare."  By preparing that means doing the work so therefore you aren't just waiting around for your chance to come to you, you are working by preparing, preparing is working.

There is so much I need to do, to prepare for when my chance will come that I need to start getting back up on my feet.  I'm tired of being in this deep dark place but as I wrote in an earlier post, it's so hard to crawl out of it.  It's like falling down a muddy slope and trying to get back up to the top when you're all slippery with the mud, slippery with the darkness.  As I've said, it's easier to stay in the dark than do the work to find the light and even harder to do the work to STAY there.  But there has been one thing I've gone back to and that's the piano where I took lessons for around 13 years and achieved the highest level in music theory - Level 10- and I taught it, too.  It's my favorite instrument.  I loved playing the piano and then when I moved to New York, I didn't have a piano so I went almost 4 years without playing and now since my accident another 3.5 years has gone by so it's safe to say, I'm a little rusty but I'm not without the talent I once I had.  I just need to get to practicing again.

Maybe 5 months or so after my accident, I decided that I wanted to get a new, very nice but not overboard digital piano and sell our old one.  I didn't want all these fancy buttons to do stuff, I just wanted a very simple, but very nice digital piano with pedals and weighted keys.  Those last two things were a must.  And I'm not talking about those kind of digital pianos that just sit on a stand, I'm talking about a serious digital piano.  And one day in Portland, after a doctor appointment, I came across the perfect, most beautiful digital piano.  And for a good price, I bought it with my own money.  It looks just like a regular piano with a beautiful black finish. But it continued to sit for awhile.  I played it a little when it first came home but then I was so frustrated that I wasn't at my top level of performance as when I last played, I didn't want to play anymore.  So I stopped.  I was even angry at myself.   But now, just this week, I got some inspiration from my favorite band, The White Stripes :)  I was listening to a song called, "Take, Take, Take" and it's one of my favorite songs cause the lyrics are really great.  The unfortunate part is, there are no piano books on any of Jack's piano songs, he's only released guitar tab books for his work.  So that's really frustrating.  But I listened and listened and listened and started to learn it by ear and I finally got it and as I continued to play it better and better, I was really enjoying myself and it felt so good to touch those keys again.  To make music again.  It was music to my ears, literally.  Even it if was still a little rusty, it felt good and with it feeling so good it made me continue to play everyday, multiple times a day and thus making me better and better.  Music has always made me feel better.  Jack White's music has gotten me through some very rough times in my life and he's continuing to help me get through this time and playing his music is, I don't know, giving some life back to my soul because music resides in my soul, performance resides in my soul.





There are many other things I need to do to prepare if my chance is going to come someday.  Such as getting my singing voice back with the help of a dear friend who teaches it and could really help me and looking at some monologues, reading plays again and watching old movies again.  Cause if my day comes, and I have not prepared, that chance will slip through my fingers and fall at my feet, the feet that I couldn't get myself to stand back up on.  And that, I will never forget and never forgive myself for.

10 comments:

Unknown said...

Looking forward may seem awkward right now but it's a healthy thing to do. The more you "practice" forward thinking the more natural it will feel. And I'm really thrilled you are working on your music skills again!

Sarah Beth Watterson said...

You're very right, April. Looking forward is awkward but not only is it awkward it is hard because I don't know what I'm looking forward to or what I have to look forward to. But great advice on practicing forward thinking. Love you.

jenrock said...

I am thrilled to hear that you're playing! And proud of you. Looking forward to hearing you play sometime....

simplegrl74 said...

I am beyond thrilled to read this!! I've been hoping and praying that you not just find your voice but actually DESIRE to find your voice. That deep hole with slippery sides sucks. You can be given all the support and helpng hands in the world but until you find your own spark it's really hard to light your fire. I can sense it in your words that you are remembering...and hoping. I love you.

Brandy said...

Exciting to hear that you've gone back to things you love and have loved to do. I too have let piano slip away and wish I hadn't. I would LOVE to start playing again! All those years of lessons - it's time to get back at it! I admire you for starting back up. Maybe once I'm done with school I can start back up again as well. The wonderful thing about music is it's a lifelong skill - something that you can enjoy and do no matter how old you get!

Anonymous said...

That is a beautiful piano. My life would be complete if you could just record some music of you playing that piano. I would love to hear what it sounds like. I don't know anything about digital pianos. Do they sound the same as regular pianos?

MSK said...

This is incredibly awesome to see you back at the piano. I can't wait to hear you play and SING on it!! You have had so much to deal with and you have shared so much of it with us! You've inspired people during the hard times and good times by baring your soul. So many people are looking forward to you playing again!!!

Sarah Beth Watterson said...

Thanks Everyone! You're all so kind with your comments :) I'm not out of the dark hole yet, but I'm trying. I've got a few friends, a few, who are holding onto my hand and helping pull me up while I'm helping myself at the same time. So thank you to those friends.
To Anonymous: Digital pianos are great and yes, they sound just like a regular piano when set to that setting (which is it's regular setting) and it feels just like a regular piano.

dcscrivy said...

My dad used to always tell me that "luck is when preparation meets opportunity". I know you are going to be "lucky" because you are such a hard worker, that is something that has always stuck out about you. I am so glad that you are playing again. It is true that music can do something for the soul that nothing else can do.

Jennifer said...

Love the piano! I have my grandma's piano, which needs a boat load of work, but it will get fixed sooner rather than later! I also took lessons for many years ... I actually surpassed my original teacher when I was 14 (8 years of lessons). I will randomly play on my not-in-tune-needing-massive-repair piano and it's so calming and soothing. It could be some awesome therapy :)