Sunday, January 6, 2013

2013 - A New Year To Move Forward

I realize I haven't written in nearly a month but this has been a trying last part of the year for me.  I had five surgeries in the past six months and have been battling severe anemia that has been taking away so much of my life because most of the time I just want to lay down or go to sleep I'm so tired.  Or I'm too weak to get up and do anything, even to write here.  It has been doctor appt after doctor appt and blood test after blood test with an increase of my iron dosage each time and to no avail because after each increase in iron dosage and blood test, nothing is making it better.  And I'm taking a lot of iron.  But onward...

It's a new year.  I used to be into resolutions but then I started noticing that they never really changed.  They were pretty much the same every year.  So I don't make resolutions really anymore.  But I do always want the new year to be different, better.  This year I want to make some dreams come true, as a friend put it to me on my Facebook page.  I want to be more productive and that includes on here.  I wouldn't say I want to "start" losing weight because I have already started.  I have been working on that for this past half of a year more intently.  It has been a battle but I really think this is the year.  I'm really tired of being a shadow of my former self so I'm going to get myself back.  That's really the most important thing I want for this year.  To get me back, but with even better compassion, understanding and courage than I knew of myself before.  My trials and tribulations in the past (almost) five years have changed me, but for the better.  I have found out things about myself and people in my life that I don't think I ever would have had I not been through them.  I wish I didn't have to have gone through some of the hellish ordeals that I've gone through to find those things out but that's just the way that one went for me.  Accept.  It's time to stop living in the past and live in the present.  It's time to stop dwelling on what was and accept what is now and make the best of it.  Of course, easier said than done, right.  But I'm also going to be turning 31 this months and I feel like I've done nothing with my life in the past five years.  Such a waste of life it's been these past five years and I don't want to make it six.  

More productivity, more patience, more smiles, more laughter, more love for me for this new year.  More dreams to come true.  More moving forward.   

2 comments:

David Deming said...

Very positive. I love it!

Scott "Tiny" Denman said...

SB I am so glad to hear your goals for the coming year. These last few years I have watched you struggle and go through the ups and downs. I am so happy for you to finally being ready to move forward looking toward the future and instead of the past. I am so happy for you. You hang in there

Scoot