Thursday, December 3, 2009

Amber

I reconnected with an old friend last weekend. Her name is Amber and we had not seen each other in 5 years, let alone even talked on the phone or by email. Well this Thanksgiving she came home and I decided to see her despite my nervousness about my scars. And let me just say first, it was so amazing.

She came to pick me up at my house since I am not yet cleared to drive and when I let her inside she immediately embraced me with a most wonderful hug that was full of emotion and happiness to see me, and not just because we hadn't seen each other in 5 years but also to be able to hug me because I was alive. When she first came in and saw me before the embrace, I felt a most powerful and wonderful emotion that made me want to cry. She looked at me like nothing had changed. I could not see or feel her eyes looking at my scars, I felt only that she was looking at me. And I was surprised not because I doubted her but because since we hadn't seen each other for so long that she might show a small amount of shock at what she saw. I was completely wrong.

That hug she gave me, I cannot stop thinking about. She truly embraced me like I was the most precious thing to her and that if I had died I would truly have been missed and put a hole in her life. I felt complete and unconditional love, happiness, passion, and like I had been missed for a very long time and so very happy that I lived.

That night we went over to her house and began to talk. And I mean talk, talk, talk, and talk for 5 years worth. And there was a moment where she just stopped and looked at me, (and I'm not being dramatic) tears welled up in her eyes, looked right through the scars to the person inside of me and said, "I'm so happy that you're here." And she didn't just mean "here" as in at her house, but here on this earth, alive. I was so happy to hear her say that that it almost felt like a punch to my heart, in a weird good way, that made me feel alive and happy to be alive too. Happy to be alive to find her again and find the friendship we had together. It was as if at that very moment our souls connected and we will never part again.

Thank you Amber for being you, for being the most wonderful friend without even having to try. Thank you for your beautiful love. You certainly have mine.

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