Monday, December 21, 2009

Destiny, Fate and Lessons

Right now I am listening to Jack's new band The Dead Weather and for some reason i began thinking about destiny and fate and things meaning to happen. And the reason for this is because of the link i posted earlier about an interview that Jack gave with The Dead Weather. First of all, the lead singer came about when she and her band, The Kills, opened up for the Raconteurs one concert and Jack lost his voice so he asked her to perform the rest of his songs. So they paired up and one by one so did the other band mates. He said in the beginning they didn't even know they were a band. They were just writing songs and then it just so happened they began a band and they have made amazing music. Now was it destined for them to get together? Was it fate that Jack lost his voice and found his lead singer for his new band? And that they all just happened to get together and began to write music without even knowing they would soon be a band?

So I'm asking you, and myself, is there such things as destiny and fate? Do things happen for a reason? Or are there just random acts in this world. I still don't know what I believe but I'd like to believe in things happening for a reason otherwise if me being burned was just a random act, I would be so angry that this random act happened to me. I'd like to believe that there is a reason I was in that fire and almost lost my life so that I can try to figure out what that reason is and be less angry about it. Does that make sense?

If there was a reason for it then what lesson was there to be learned from it? I can say there are some things in my life I am not proud of and people I hurt in the process. And it began when I met someone I loved very much who just didn't love me as much and hurt me very badly. He cost me my friends...well I helped by not resisting and standing up for my friends. I became hard on the outside, not trusting people and not letting people in. I hid on the inside and performed someone else on the outside doing things and hurting people the real me, on the inside, would never have done.

There was a certain and very special person that I met in New York that I hurt very badly without meaning to because it was the performer on the outside that I still used. I still, 6-8 years later after my break-up still hid the real me underneath. I continued to perform a dishonest person on the outside. But he taught me some very important lessons in life and three of them were honesty, what a true friend is, and loyalty. And from this I not only learned to not lie to my friends and family but also not to myself. To be true to who I was no matter if someone liked it or not. If they had a problem with who I was honestly, then they were not worth having as a friend. I learned the difference between drinking buddies and real true friends. In that process years ago when I didn't stand up for my friends, those were true real friends and I just disregarded them. And that brings me to the lesson of loyalty. I should have been loyal to those friends who were my true real friends. Instead I gave my loyalty to friends who really weren't my friends, friends who at the drop of a hat would stab me in the back.

So I have to believe that this fire and my injury happened for a reason. That there were lessons to be learned from it. And I have. I have learned what a true real friend is and to be honest with them, myself, and my family and most of all, be loyal to those friends and family who are true. I also want to believe that destiny bends and changes. I want to hope that there is a destiny for me to be one of the greatest actors, performers, of all time and that's the reason why a higher power kept me alive to give me a second chance to learn those lessons and by learning those lessons I am able to pursue that dream with support all around me. Dreams are hard to accomplish by yourself. You need that support from both friends and family. And through this change and bend of destiny that derailed for a time by being injured, it has given me time to learn those lessons so I can go ahead with my dream wiser and stronger.

And I have. I know the difference between buddies and true real friends and I have found those true real friends. It was once said that you should only be able to count your true and fiercely loyal friends on one hand because they should be hard to come by with those kind of attributes. I have learned in return how to be a fierce and loyal friend. I have also learned honesty and have finally ditched the performer on the outside and let loose the real me that had hidden for so long inside my body.

So was it destiny, fate that I was in a fire and almost lost my life? Was there a lesson to be learned that I was given the second chance to live and learn those lessons? Or was it just a random act and it just so happened to be me in the wrong place at the wrong time. What do you believe?

5 comments:

Sharae said...

I know without a doubt in mind that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. We are given trials and tribulations in our lives so that we may grow and learn from them and that we may become stronger people and gain more knowledge. I know that God will never give us more than we can handle. He knows your strengths and your weaknesses. Although it doesn't make it easier knowing this while going through things, we can have faith that it is for a reason and not just for a "random act" that doesn't make sense. He also gives us wonderful blessings in our lives to comfort us. Small everyday blessings that go unnoticed. There is an amazing song that we sing at church that when I am going through a hard time always comes into my head. It says this
"When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed, When you are discouraged thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Are you ever burnded with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly, And you will be singing as the days go by. When you look at others with their lands and gold, Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold. Count your many blessings; money cannot buy Your reward in heaven nor your home on high. So amid the conflict, whether great or small, Do not be discouraged; God is over all. Count your many blessings; angels will attend, help and comfort give you to your journey's end. Count your many blessings; Name them one by one. Count your many blessings; See what God hath done."
He at this very moment is saddened by your pain that you endure everyday. To help and comfort you though, he has blessed you with an amazing family who is able to help you daily through your recovery. He has blessed you with the time to spend with them. He has blessed you with knowledge of the importance of honesty and good friends. Sarah- you have gone through one of the worst accidents anyone could ever go through. Please try to understand that someday you will learn why this happened. There is a reason. There is a reason for everything that happens. You are a beautiful person. We all love you and know that for a reason you were placed in all our lives! I love you! *ps- sorry this was long :)

Unknown said...

I agree with Sharae! When I'm having a down day I'll actually sing the chorus to the song she referred to; "Count Your Blessing".
Count your blessings, name them one by one.
Count your blessings, see what God has done.
Count your blessings, name them one by one.
Count your many blessings, see what God has done.

Then I'll actually do what the song suggests; count my blessings.
It shifts my "poor me" attitude quickly, and brings joy.

I think you already know the answer to your question about fate vs spiritual design. You even have some insight into one or more things you are learning through the accident already. God is becoming a more important part of your life with each day you depend on Him to get you through it. God's plan for our lives goes above and beyond anything we can possibly imagine!

Praying for you, and what you are becoming by God's grace. April

Anonymous said...

I think that we are guided by God, but he does not choose our destiny. We are ultimately responsible for who we are and what we do/have done. Do I think things happen for a reason...maybe, but the God I know would not have chosen you to be burned in a fire no more than he would choose a child to be raped, etc. God does not get that involved in our lives as he allows for free will.

He is however always working through us. Where God comes into play is how we choose to react to something like this. Do we choose to change our lives, the way we are doing things, who we hang out with, etc. or do we choose to stay on the course we were on before?

I believe that God is already working through you!

I may not have stated this as well as I would have liked, but hopefully you get the picture.

Anonymous said...

Personally, Never Been Unloved by Michael W Smith moves me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spr9aCNdRbU

Amanda Lightfoot said...

The "why" question is a hard one for me. It's too big, I guess. For every "why", there's an answer, but there's also at least two new "why"s.

Like a curious two-year-old. "Why is water blue?" "Because of the reflection of the sky." "Why does the water reflect the sky? Why is the sky blue?" Pretty quick, you've got your tongue wrapped around your head and stuck in your ear because you lost track of what you were trying to answer.

I don't know much about God, destiny, or fate, but I think there is opportunity for growth and change and learning in everything that happens to us.

Whether some greater force is deciding our path in or not...When all is said and done, I think it adds up to about the same thing: what you get from your life depends on your willingness to participate in it. The past has purpose and meaning if you have used it to become a more complete person in the present.

Personally, I believe that the strength to do that comes from within ourselves, hopefully with the support of those around us. For some, that group includes a higher power, and I respect and admire that gift.

I know I say it a lot, but I'm so proud of you for how much you've done, emotionally, physically, in every way, to grow out of this pain.

And, Sarah, even knowing you during a confused time in your life, I always saw exactly the kind, wonderful heart I see now. REMEMBER what you're saying you know now--the way you sometimes behaved between then and now wasn't an accurate representation of what is inside of you...AND you acted that way because you'd been deeply hurt. Don't blame yourself for shutting people off in the past to protect yourself from pain. Be joyful that you're learning to let those walls down now! Go forward and make each day better than the last.

You have a gift to offer the world: you. And we're so glad you're sharing. :)

Ok, cheesy soapbox post complete.