Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Scar Means, I Survived

I am reading an interesting book called "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave and I came across a section that struck me and made me think so I had to write a little something about it.

In the beginning of the book the writer writes this, "On the girl's brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking, Do those scars cover the whole of you, lke the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That s what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must all see scars as beauty.....Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived."

A scar means, I SURVIVED, that statement couldn't be more true. The fire wanted to make me ugly with scars, but it is those scars that can make me beautiful in a way because they show survival. I have come to peace with the scars on my body, I really have. It is the scars on my face that still bother me and make me feel ugly. The scars on my face don't make me feel like a survivor. Which is ridiculus because the scars on my body are much worse than the scars on my face.

But I did survive and I have the scars to prove it. Chris Cleave writes, "...we must make an agreement to defy them." I must make an agreement with myself that I will not let the fire destroy me but rather I will defy it. But am I strong enough to do so, to make such an agreement? I must muster the strength to defy that fire and what happened that night and see myself as a survivor AND beautiful. This will be very hard for me but I will write here, for all you to read, that I promise to make that agreement with myself. I'm not sure I can see myself as beautiful yet, but I can definitly see myself as a survivor. And I have the "beauty" to prove it.

1 comment:

Gauche said...

For now, be survivor, but one day you will rise up like a phoenix and live this life knowing what there is to lose;0 Surviving is the crappy part..you got a lot left to do girlie-o.

I adore scars;)

XOXO