Monday, July 12, 2010
Forgiving What Happened
I was having a rough day yesterday and my mother nailed it right on the head as to why - I need to forgive what happened and move on from it. I can't keep festering over the past. I must forgive and maybe then I may be able to move on but finding that strength to forgive is so hard for me. I suffer heavily from what happened and just can't seem to find that strength to forgive it. It's just not in me right now. And part of that reason is because of my inability to have faith in God. or any faith at all for that matter. I know that if I had faith in God, I would be able to forgive what happened but I'm just having a tough time with the idea of God right now for if he really loved me, why would He let something so horrendous happen? My mother says He saved me but I'm not so sure. I don't know why I lived because I really should have died. But I didn't. I survived. And I don't know why. But I do know that while I was in the throes of death, I didn't see or hear any God who told me I needed to stay, that there was a reason for me to stay. Why am I still here? And when will I be able to forgive what happened to me?
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2 comments:
I think part of the reason that faith is so hard, is because it isn't something you do, physically. It isn't an act, it isn't like reading a book, or cleaning the house. It is a quality, and something that takes a LONG time to gain.
I don't experience the same trials and difficulties as you do, but I have bad days and bad times just like everyone else. Faith is something I have always struggled with, and I think it's because of my personality. I'm a planner; I don't like not knowing what's coming, and I want everything to be in its proper place, at the right time. And the very act of faith is the complete opposite of that!
I don't know why certain things have and have not happened in my life, but I have to have faith that there is a reason. I may not find that reason tomorrow, or in a month. And sometimes, there isn't a reason, it's just something that we are asked to go through. Life itself is a trial of faith. Faith that we are all here for a purpose. Think back on your life, think about all the amazing things that have happened, and think about all the crappy things. We cannot know joy, unless we first know sorrow. When I was going through a particularly trying time in my life, I asked my mom the time old question, “why me?!” And her response is something that I will never forget; “Maybe you are going through this, because you are strong enough to handle it. Maybe this is your trial, because someone else could not handle it. You are blessing someone else’s life by taking on a burden that they would not have been able to bear.”
So as frustrating as life can be, just remember that you are a daughter of God, and He knows you. You are here for a reason! You are been put on earth at this time and in these circumstances to see what you make of life. Life will not always be easy, that I know. Think of swimming; you practice hours and hours, get up early, miss out on parties, spend months working hard- but when you win that race?! It’s all worth it! I know that with all the things that are hard, but there are things that will bring you such joy, that it will all be worth it in the end. Have faith, Sarah, even if it is just blind faith in the beginning.
I hope this helps—keep smiling!
Ahhhh . . . the word "faith" comes to mind: complete trust or confidence in someone or something is how the dictionary describes the word faith. As the Bible says, "faith is the belief in what cannot be seen". Forgiveness will come as your faith in a loving Father grows. Ask your Heavenly Father to "grow" your faith. He's listening! :-)
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