Monday, October 25, 2010

Making A Second Chance Count

I got one of those "forwarded" emails from my mother the other day that I usually don't pay attention to no matter who they're from but for some reason I opened this one and I'm so glad I did because it had a wonderful message inside:

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it.

I have written a many posts about not taking things, even the simplest of things, for granted and I have posted about how your life can change in a split second so life your life to the fullest and love with all your heart those that you love. I've written about how I've been given a second chance and how my life has not been easy since my accident. But I have never talked about how life, even mine, is worth it no matter how hard it is. I love the lines, "If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it."

I have been given a second chance at life, but I have not grabbed it with both hands because I am afraid I have nothing to grab on to. I feel like I've lost everything good that I had in my life when really the most important things that I had in my life i still have, which is my family and my friends. And in the friends department, I have actually gained. But besides my family and friends, what is it in this second chance I've been given that I can grab with both hands? A career? That's a big iffy and very far away right now. Love? forget it. Money? forget that too and that's only important to me so I can one day take care of my parents as they have taken care of me. Beauty? I lost that in the fire. God or Faith? I question even the existence of a higher being right now. So I ask again, what is it in this second chance that I can grab with both hands? I feel like I'm reaching and reaching but grasping nothing but air.

"Nobody said life would be easy. They just said it would be worth it." Life is not easy for me, that's for sure. But I'm still trying to figure out how my accident still made my life worth it. What good came out of it other than the better friends I have? I listed several things in the paragraph above that I don't have now because of the fire. I lost so much in that fire. So how is life still worth it? I'm trying hard to rebuild my life but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. The last 2 1/2 years of my life have been surgery after surgery and then in constant recovery. Despite the great advances in my reconstruction, I feel like I'm in a stationary position with no energy to move my feet and do something great with my life.

I want to make the best out of this second chance I've been given. So? What do I do? I'm looking into going back to school because I want to finish my psychology degree and because I love learning and I feel like my brain has turned into mush. I need to revive it. So at least I'm making an effort there. But I live my days inside the house, and usually in some state of depression. What can I do with my daily life to cheer up? To make life worth it? To make this second chance count? Because I've been given one and I must live it better than I did the first chance. I must not repeat my mistakes. I must aim for an unbound and free life full of joy and love and opportunities. I will not allow myself to get cornered again in a life I didn't enjoy. I must promise myself that I won't stop reaching until I finally am able to grab onto my life with both hands and live it. There may not be another chance for me. This is it. GRAB ON AND LIVE IT!

1 comment:

Gram/mom said...

What has worked for me through different type of tragedy than you are experiencing is grabbing onto God. Some may think that is 'cliche' or easy to say but what does it mean. For me it meant stop trying to be in control, stop trying to fix other people, admit I am nothing without God, go to God for EVERYTHING. Literally capturing every thought and changing it to a God thought. A counselor told me once some wise words, 'this world is not about me'. I had to stop living in my world and wants and begin living with the assurance that God is in control, has better and more awesome life planned for me than I could ever map out. I have to remember this bible verse EVERY DAY (sometimes many times a day). 'do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit but rather with humilty of mind regard others as more important than yourself.' My wants should always be second to the betterment of someone else. Yes it has taken me a long time to learn - because I tried to control situations and did not know some of my options. The yucky life I led in the past was painful and I am still working at getting over problems from it. I can joyfully see each day that when I stopped trying and trusted God - yes it is a big step- I am blessed with an awesome husband, incredible friends and unbelievable peace. Truly having to say out loud 'satan you are a liar, you are nothing and you are beneath my feet (literally stomping on the floor), my father has condemed you and you will not take away my peace my joy and my life, you will not interfere with xxxx. I am claiming that right now for you Sara, "Satan you are a LIAR and you are beneath Sara and my feet, you will not take her joy, you will not take her peace, you will not keep her from God's glory and his plan for her. I rebuke you with God's power in me and we stand boldly before our loving Father. Dad, I lift up Sara to you, that she just sit in your lap, that she just know your love and presence around her, that she just give up the past and give herself to you to see your plan for her. Thank you for the encouragers and intercessors you have placed in her life who lift her to you and pray for her. You are awesome Lord and worthy of praise, thank you for who you are and that we can lose ourselves and find you.