Another Burn Victim

This morning I was watching The Today Show as I do every morning and they had a burn victim on today. The woman I am talking about is Stephanie Nielson. Some of you may have seen it this morning.

She was burned in a plane crash on 80% of her body. She wasn't expected to live. Yet she did. Because of the severity of her burn she was put in a medically induced coma. This story sounds very familiar to me. Though I was burned half of what she was, 40% in 3rd degree burns, I was also put in a medically induced coma for a month. They also did not expect me to live. The biggest problem they had in the beginning when the paramedics were trying to save me was getting me to breath. After many attempts of trying to intubate me, they finally had to resolve to manually air bagging me and had to do so the entire way to Portland, which is nearly impossible.

When I woke up, I knew what had happened to me but I did not know the severity of it. I also suffered horrible hallucinations. The first person I saw when I woke up was my dear older brother Jake and his wife Kim. I could barely talk. My voice was breathy and I could barely get out three words before I had to take a breathe again due to smoke inhalation damage.

She also has a blog and it has inspired me to continue to share my journey with you. She, however, has hundreds of followers and her story has inspired so many people. So many people in fact that it got her on The Today Show! I hope that I will continue to acquire followers like her and inspire people like she did. I want to share my my journey with as many people as I can so that I can teach people to be thankful for what they have in life and to treat and look at disabled and disfigured people differently.

I know in my last blog I wrote that I sometimes wish I had died in the accident but today she inspired me to be thankful this Thanksgiving that I lived through my accident. And to be thankful for my family and my friends. My family has been amazing in their support for me. They were there everyday and someone is always there each day that I'm in the hospital after another surgery. They are truly amazing people and I could not have been luckier to have such a family.

I am also very lucky to have a church that prays for me everyday, even when I'm not there. I am especially thankful for my pastor, Clay and his wife Jen who do everything they can to get me out and hang out with them and other friends and not make me feel like a freak or self conscious of my scars. They have been amazing. I truly feel like they see me for me and not my scars.

My scars make me hide out and not see people but this woman, who was also burned on her face and scarred, did not hide. She even took pictures of herself. I refuse to take pictures of myself and with others with my scars right now. I hope that will change after my lip surgery, which is to be scheduled in 6 weeks so I am impatiently awaiting for that day. I just may find the courage to appear back in pictures but I don't know if I will be able to do it even then.

I wish I had her strength. People tell me all the time how brave and strong I am but I found out today that I am not as strong as this woman. But she does not have the contractures in her extremities as I do and that is part of what makes my everyday living very hard. As I have said in another blog, I cannot reach into the cupboard for a dish or cup and I can't even wash my own hair due to the contractures in my shoulders. So everyday is a struggle for me to just function with the simplest things. I do not think she has the problem as I saw her doing some exercising and physical therapy. But I still admire her for her strength and confidence. I may have the strength but I do not have the confidence. And that kills me. I use to be such a social butterfly and now I hide out. I pray that my doctors will continue to perform miracles on my repair and I will get my life back. Until then, I continue to be scared and lonely and hope that through this blog, I will touch the lives of many others.