Thankful to be alive this Thanksgiving 2009

It is Thanksgiving 2009 and I'm thinking about what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful to be alive. If I had not made it through that accident, my family would be one child less and I wonder what that would be like for them. How would they spend the holiday without me? This would be their second Thanksgiving without me so would they be more used to it? Or would it still be just as hard?

I think often about what my family would be like without me. Me, being extremely humble and not always thinking myself as important as my older brothers, think maybe the first Thanksgiving might have been hard, but I think this Thanksgiving would have been fine. I know that my family would absolutely protest against that statement but I just don't feel as "cool" in the family as my brothers and I have always felt that way. I am very jealous of them (in a good way) at how my family lights up when they're around. I myself light up. Another thing they possess that I don't ge tto have is a brotherly love between them that makes them so very close. I don't get to have that because I don't have a sister. So I am again jealous of that. I just feel like the little sister but being the their little sister makes them very protective of me and that I do love that. They, however, are my hero's.

I know my family loves me more than anything in their worlds. But I think my death, my absence, would not be as heavy as if it were one of my brothers. Those are only my thoughts and twisted feelings, not theirs.

I love my family so much for standing by my bedside everyday in the hospital and for all the sacrifices and love they gave and continue to give, that's how I know they love me just as much. They are the most important thing in the world to me and I am so very thankful to have such a close knit family.

So this Thanksgiving as I spend it with my mother, father and my oldest brother Mark, I am firstly thankful that I am here to spend it with them. And that is what you should all be most thankful for: that YOU ARE ALIVE and here to spend it with your family and friends and THEY ARE here to spend it with you. And for those of you who have lost a family member or friend, I am so sorry for their absence. But you must be thankful that you are alive to be here for the rest of your family and friends, especially during the holiday season, because I know what it's like, first hand, to imagine not being here for them since I almost lost my life last year.

So give a huge hug and kiss to your family and friends and tell them, thank you, for being in your life because without them your heart would forever mourn their absence.