Friday, February 11, 2011

Advice from Johnny Cash

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space. ~Johnny Cash

Oh brilliant Johnny Cash, you couldn't be more spot on with every single word in this quote. I can't pick out a single phrase in the quote that sticks out more than any other. It's all so wickedly brilliant about our pasts. So how do I live by it? It's so hard for me to close the door on my past and not dwell on it; to not let it have any of my energy, or my time, or even my space. Particularly not dwell on it. I dwell on my past day and night. I let it take up my energy and my time because I'm constantly reminded of it with my inability to take a shower by myself, to not be able to reach up into cupboards to get my own glass or plate, to not be able to dress myself. How can I not be consumed by my past when all those things constantly remind me of the mistakes I made in the past, my failures?

He says, "You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone." I feel so lost as to how I can do that. I feel so lost in my life. I don't know where I'm going anymore so how can I possibly use it as a stepping stone? I'm so angry about my past failures and I know that's not healthy. But I am. This is all so hard for me. I don't know when I'm ever going to get past my current situation: living at home with my parents, being taken care of. When will I ever be able to live on my own again, take care of myself, wash my own hair, cook for myself and put away the dishes, dress myself, DRIVE! I haven't driven a car in 3 years. Oh, how I miss driving. The freedom it gives you. Freedom, I don't even know what that feels like anymore. I do not say that as if I'm locked up in my home and not allowed to go anywhere, but I don't have the means to go anywhere so I stay in the house all day. There are also other reasons I stay in the house but not having a car to drive somewhere is a big reason I don't go anywhere.

Another problem is I let it have all my energy, which was eye opening for me when I read that quote because maybe that is why I am tired all the time. Maybe that is why I feel drained all the time. But it is all too easy to let it have all my energy. It's harder to fight it and I simply don't have that energy to do just that, fight it. I'm drained from my past and my failures. I'm also drained from fighting for a future. I don't know if I have a real future anymore and that truly scares me. I don't want to live some mediocre life and be unhappy. I'm tired of being unhappy. So very, very tired of being unhappy. I just want to be happy again. But I don't see that happiness anywhere in sight.

So where do I go from here? My mom asked me today if I really wanted to get better when I protested against taking a bath because I simply didn't want to take the time to go through all the motions of the bath and dressing my wounds and then dressing me. A surge of heated anger raced through my veins because why wouldn't I want to get better? Why would I ever, EVER want to stay this way? My mother didn't mean anything by the question but it was a reasonable question considering I often get grumpy when we have to do things that are for the betterment of my health. But I have my reasons. For example, I got grumpy about taking a bath because it means I have to see the scars that cover my body almost entirely and that upsets me. My body is not what it used to be, particularly my face, and I have absolute hate and disgust that run through my veins because of it. So, as I asked earlier, where do I go from here? How do I manage this hate and disgust or even better yet, get rid of it? How do I NOT let it take up my time and energy and space? And most importantly, how do I build on my failure and use it as a stepping stone? I'm completely lost in my life, angry, drained, and most unhappy.

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