You may have noticed that I have been blogging about different quotes lately. Well, I came across this one and I found it most interesting considering it was used on a show where one of the main characters was a burn survivor. OK, I'll admit, it was Criminal Minds again and the "unsub" or "bad guy" was a burn survivor. But at the end of the show they read this quote. And it got me thinking about that old saying about time healing all wounds and if I don't agree, like Rose Kennedy. I actually think that she is right. Time does not heal all wounds. Those wounds remain. I, however, haven't been a survivor for long...only three years in March.
The next part intrigues me, "In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens." So, in other words, instead of time healing the wounds, the mind is what is responsible for the healing, covering the wounds with scar tissue. And in time, the mind will lessen the pain. And here is where I absolutely agree, "But it is never gone." It is NEVER GONE. Maybe others will disagree, other survivors of all kinds may have gotten past the pain. But I side with Kennedy here. I don't think I'll ever be able to get past the pain. I think it will lessen, but it will never be gone.
Time is not what will heal my wounds. It is my mind, covering it with scar tissue and lessening the pain that will heal my wounds. And right now, my mind is not healthy so my wound healing is a little messed up right now. So how do I right my mind so that it can protect its sanity and cover my wounds with scar tissue? Will I ever be able to forgive myself? Will I ever be able to forgive God? Maybe when my mind is healthy again, I will be able to forgive God but I worry that I will never be able to forgive myself. But then I worry that my mind will be able to forgive myself, but never God and if that happens, will I lose my faith? Which am I more scared of?
2 comments:
I learned long ago that forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is a CHOICE. The "feelings" of forgiveness may or may not follow but we are healthier when we choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. I learned the truth of that in my relationship with my earthly father who sexually molested me. I'm healed because I made the decision many years ago to forgive. The feelings of forgiveness eventually followed even though my father never acknowledged any wrong doing. I was able to have a long and loving relationship with him in adulthood in spite of my dad's unresolved issues because I chose to forgive him. It was a gift I GAVE MYSELF, and I've never regretted it. When my dad was on his deathbed a year ago I was able to hold his hand, wipe his brow, sing hymns to him and love him as he passed. I would not have been able to do this if I'd spent my adult life in bitterness and anger toward him. In addition I'm an emotionally healthy person because of my decision to forgive so long ago. Give YOURSELF a gift, Sarah!
St. Bernadette, who was poorly treated and was also very infirm her whole short life, said 'suffering passes but having suffered lasts.' Bless her.
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